When I look at the photo of my youngest son Jacob below and then at the many photos of children being currently shown on our TV screens who have died or who are missing, I am numb.
At these times our faith is severely challenged and probably rightly so. The question is asked, why do innocent people suffer? Yes, most of the time a finger can be pointed at the evil in ‘man’ for man’s own suffering. But when you look at the devastation caused by an earthquake, a tsunami, we look small and insignificant against such awesome power. And in our blame culture, even the Insurers can only say ‘an act of God’.
Terry Waite has written these words in the last few days…
‘When in my own life, I have had to face a limited amount of suffering, I have always refused to blame God. Rather I have recognised that, whether I like it or not, suffering is part and parcel of this world. Suffering is never easy, it is bitter and painful. However I can truly say that in some strange way it has drawn me closer to the mystery that lies at the heart of faith.
Personally, I believe that we shall never in this life truly understand suffering and evil. We shall know them, certainly, but never understand their causes. What I do know is that faith enables them to be transformed and gives hope.’
The three pillars that are intrinsic to our lives I believe are faith, hope and love, as the apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
Faith in God who knows our suffering and who's love for us is wonderfully displayed through His Son.
(Romans 8:35-39) - (35) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? (36) As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." (37) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (38) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, (39) neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Hope for a great future – eternal life, where ‘death’ is not the final page.
And Love - as we again watch our TV screens and see love being expressed in amazing ways.
'....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love'.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
You can't teach an old dog....
Without giving too much away a member of my family, who shall remain nameless, has entered the modern world with the purchase of a DVD player.
After watching a film one evening they’d reached the end of the movie and spent the next half hour trying to work out how to re-wind the film back to the beginning.
I’m sure there are many funny examples of this kind of technological conundrum for the ‘old dogs’ out there…
After watching a film one evening they’d reached the end of the movie and spent the next half hour trying to work out how to re-wind the film back to the beginning.
I’m sure there are many funny examples of this kind of technological conundrum for the ‘old dogs’ out there…
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
A Little Angel
My youngest son Jacob, who is 5, is very excited at the moment. He’s going to be an Angel in the School Christmas Liturgy next week.
It’s taking him over an hour and a half to go to sleep at the moment, every time he goes to bed. He keeps talking and singing to himself.
I have a lot of fun listening to him outside his bedroom door. Me thinks a star is born!
It’s taking him over an hour and a half to go to sleep at the moment, every time he goes to bed. He keeps talking and singing to himself.
I have a lot of fun listening to him outside his bedroom door. Me thinks a star is born!
Sunday, December 12, 2004
"Showtime"
We all went to see ‘The Incredibles’ yesterday. What a great must-see film for all the family. We all loved it! Check out the reviews.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Value
Here’s what I will be sharing tonight at our ‘Chatroom’ event for teenagers.
'I have in my hand a £10 note. No doubt you would all like to have this if I were to offer it for free to anyone who wants it. Even if I crumple it up, you would still want it as yours. If I were to grind it into the mud, or even tear it a little, it would still be very much in demand, because even now it still has not lost its value.
God looks at us, crumpled, and torn, and ground down by all that life has to fling at us, and still he values us, still he loves us.
There’s a guy in the Bible who was called Saul who later became known as Paul. He was known originally for persecuting the Church and having Christians executed. Then he had the ‘road to Damascus experience’ where God rescued him....saved his life!
He wrote these words...
1 Timothy 1:15-16 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown grace and mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
God loves us. Whatever our condition He takes our lives and saves us, restores us, sets us free. We can know his love and grace in our lives...it’s the best thing that could ever happen to us.
Paul also wrote these words...
Colossians 3:8-9 Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Jesus as my Lord, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant - rubbish! I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Jesus and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting and knowing Jesus - God's righteousness.
The greatest thing for Paul....KNOWING JESUS'.
'I have in my hand a £10 note. No doubt you would all like to have this if I were to offer it for free to anyone who wants it. Even if I crumple it up, you would still want it as yours. If I were to grind it into the mud, or even tear it a little, it would still be very much in demand, because even now it still has not lost its value.
God looks at us, crumpled, and torn, and ground down by all that life has to fling at us, and still he values us, still he loves us.
There’s a guy in the Bible who was called Saul who later became known as Paul. He was known originally for persecuting the Church and having Christians executed. Then he had the ‘road to Damascus experience’ where God rescued him....saved his life!
He wrote these words...
1 Timothy 1:15-16 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown grace and mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
God loves us. Whatever our condition He takes our lives and saves us, restores us, sets us free. We can know his love and grace in our lives...it’s the best thing that could ever happen to us.
Paul also wrote these words...
Colossians 3:8-9 Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Jesus as my Lord, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant - rubbish! I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Jesus and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting and knowing Jesus - God's righteousness.
The greatest thing for Paul....KNOWING JESUS'.
Want to Buy a Bus?
There are a number London Routemaster Buses up for grabs, around 200 in total. My father-in-law would love one…he’s a bus fanatic! Not sure my mother-in-law would appreciate one parked outside the house though.
Monday, December 06, 2004
It's Here!
The postman has made my day today.....the Return of the King DVD (extended edition) has arrived! Now to try and watch it, i.e. find a spare 4 hours!
'Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you.'
'Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you.'
'Earn it'
Great time in church last night. Roger Davies was with us from Hope City Church, Sheffield. He spoke about the things that constitute a good soldier.
2 Timothy 2:1-4 (1) You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. (2) And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. (3) Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (4) No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer.
One striking reference he made was a quote from the film ‘Saving Private Ryan’ where Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) utters his last words to Private Ryan - ‘Earn it’, in reference to Ryan’s life that they had just saved at the expense of most of his platoon. In comparison we were then reminded of Jesus’ last words on the cross, ‘It is finished’ or ‘paid for’ (Greek translation) - the price had been paid, in reference to our own lives being saved through Jesus’ sacrifice. Now because of the victory of the cross we can choose to live incredible lives by living for Him.
John 3:16-17 (16) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (17) For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
2 Timothy 2:1-4 (1) You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. (2) And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. (3) Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (4) No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer.
One striking reference he made was a quote from the film ‘Saving Private Ryan’ where Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) utters his last words to Private Ryan - ‘Earn it’, in reference to Ryan’s life that they had just saved at the expense of most of his platoon. In comparison we were then reminded of Jesus’ last words on the cross, ‘It is finished’ or ‘paid for’ (Greek translation) - the price had been paid, in reference to our own lives being saved through Jesus’ sacrifice. Now because of the victory of the cross we can choose to live incredible lives by living for Him.
John 3:16-17 (16) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (17) For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
Friday, December 03, 2004
Shopping with the Wife
I've been Christmas shopping this week with Jane. We decided on the 2 pronged attack which meant we get more done in the time available......'Here is your mission if you choose to accept it!'
Monday, November 29, 2004
Results Just In....
Official results from the Clowne Half Marathon have been published. Very pleased with my time, 1:43.20 which is over 2 minutes quicker than last time. My mate Rob was also pleased, in at 1:45.26 which is his quickest half marathon to date. 226th out of 484 finishing - not too bad!
Friday, November 26, 2004
Keep on Running
When the bug bites…!
I will be running my second half-marathon this Sunday. It’s the Clowne Half, again this is just a local run with about 500 to 600 contestants.
My running mate, Rob, will be with me this time. He’s hoping he can keep up with me! Actually we’re about the same pace so I don’t think he needs to worry.
Will let you know how I get on.
I will be running my second half-marathon this Sunday. It’s the Clowne Half, again this is just a local run with about 500 to 600 contestants.
My running mate, Rob, will be with me this time. He’s hoping he can keep up with me! Actually we’re about the same pace so I don’t think he needs to worry.
Will let you know how I get on.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
My Flexible Friend
I accept there are somethings in life you would never move from. BUT without wanting to sound too contradictory one of my pet hates is inflexibility. So often flexibility is the vital ingredient in life that brings joy and a breath of fresh air!
"Men are born soft and supple; dead, they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead, they are brittle and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail." - Lao-tzu
"The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn". – Anon
"Men are born soft and supple; dead, they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead, they are brittle and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail." - Lao-tzu
"The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn". – Anon
The Big Picture
This is a great read from Baggas who is a Family Doctor in Perth, Western Australia. Makes you think!
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
20Q
Check out this 20Q website where the AI will try to figure out what you are thinking of by asking you 20 questions. It’s pretty accurate.
I’m a (kind of) Celebrity….Get Me A Job!
The popular TV show is with us again, here in the UK. The feeling is of deja vu after the first couple of days. This time it is Natalie Appleton (who?), formerly of girl band ‘All Saints’, who has taken up the mantle of the whinging whining contestant who say’s she doesn’t like the jungle et al. What did she expect?!
My suspicion is that this is the recognised tactic of someone who really wants to win (agents advice?!)...or am I getting too cynical? The Brits love to see them suffer, so she will be hard to get rid of.
My suspicion is that this is the recognised tactic of someone who really wants to win (agents advice?!)...or am I getting too cynical? The Brits love to see them suffer, so she will be hard to get rid of.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Seizing the Day
Here’s one way to get your message across....or not as the case may be!
There must be more creative ways of delivering this theme....?
There must be more creative ways of delivering this theme....?
Friday, November 19, 2004
LG Fruit
I will be sharing in church this Sunday on ‘Bearing Fruit’, in particular ‘life-giving’ fruit.
Proverbs 11:30: The godly are like trees that bear life-giving fruit, and those who save lives are wise.
Have you seen the Tango ads? The one I really love is the one with postman posting the last apple through the letterbox and the last drop of juice causes the ceiling to give way and the guy in the cellar gets drenched in gallons of apple juice.
We were created to bear fruit…good fruit! Fruit that positively effects and impacts the world we live in.
Some keys for being and remaining fruitful:
Be a good tree…stay connected to Jesus: John 1:1-4 (1) "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. (2) He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. (3) You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. (4) Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
AND stay fresh (even in old age!!)…be planted in the House of God (the Church):
Proverbs 92:12-14 (12) The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; (13) planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (14) They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.
Proverbs 11:30: The godly are like trees that bear life-giving fruit, and those who save lives are wise.
Have you seen the Tango ads? The one I really love is the one with postman posting the last apple through the letterbox and the last drop of juice causes the ceiling to give way and the guy in the cellar gets drenched in gallons of apple juice.
We were created to bear fruit…good fruit! Fruit that positively effects and impacts the world we live in.
Some keys for being and remaining fruitful:
Be a good tree…stay connected to Jesus: John 1:1-4 (1) "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. (2) He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. (3) You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. (4) Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
AND stay fresh (even in old age!!)…be planted in the House of God (the Church):
Proverbs 92:12-14 (12) The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; (13) planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (14) They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Born to Run?
Here’s a news item sent to me today from (news.com.au) written by Patricia Reaney in London. (Thanks to Paul for this)
Humans were born to run and evolved from ape-like creatures into the way they look today probably because of the need to cover long distances and compete for food, scientists said today.
From tendons and ligaments in the legs and feet that act like springs and skull features that help prevent overheating, to well-defined buttocks that stabilise the body, the human anatomy is shaped for running.
"We do it because we are good at it. We enjoy it and we have all kinds of specialisation’s that permit us to run well," said Daniel Liberman, a professor of anthropology at Harvard University in Massachusetts.
"There are all kinds of features that we see in the human body that are critical for running," he told Reuters.
Prof. Liberman and Dennis Bramble, a biology professor at the University of Utah, studied more than two dozen traits that increase humans' ability to run. Their research is reported in the science journal Nature.
They suspect modern humans evolved from their ape-like ancestors about 2 million years ago so they could hunt and scavenge for food over large distances.
But the development of physical features that enabled humans to run entailed a trade off - the loss of traits that were useful for being a tree-climber.
"We are very confident that strong selection for running - which came at the expense of the historical ability to live in trees – was instrumental in the origin of the modern human body form," Prof. Bramble said in a statement.
The conventional theory is that running was a by-product of bipedalism, or the ability to walk upright on two legs, that evolved in ape-like human ancestors called Australopithecus at least 4.5 million years ago.
But Profs. Liberman and Bramble argue that it took a few million more years for the running physique to evolve, so the ability to walk cannot explain the transition.
"There were 2.5 million to 3 million years of bipedal walking without ever looking like a human, so is walking going to be what suddenly transforms the hominid body?" said Prof. Bramble.
"We're saying 'no, walking won't do that, but running will.'"
If natural selection did not favour running, the scientists believe humans would still look a lot like apes.
"Running has substantially shaped human evolution. Running made us human - at least in the anatomical sense," Prof. Bramble added.
Among the features that set humans apart from apes to make them good runners are longer legs to take longer strides, shorter forearms to enable the upper body to counterbalance the lower half during running and larger disks which allow for better shock absorption.
Big buttocks are also important.
"Have you ever looked at an ape? They have no buns," said Prof. Bramble.
Humans lean forward when they run and the buttocks "keep you from pitching over on your nose each time a foot hits the ground," he added.
My thoughts...is this a chicken and the egg thing? 'Running made us human'....or created to run?
Humans were born to run and evolved from ape-like creatures into the way they look today probably because of the need to cover long distances and compete for food, scientists said today.
From tendons and ligaments in the legs and feet that act like springs and skull features that help prevent overheating, to well-defined buttocks that stabilise the body, the human anatomy is shaped for running.
"We do it because we are good at it. We enjoy it and we have all kinds of specialisation’s that permit us to run well," said Daniel Liberman, a professor of anthropology at Harvard University in Massachusetts.
"There are all kinds of features that we see in the human body that are critical for running," he told Reuters.
Prof. Liberman and Dennis Bramble, a biology professor at the University of Utah, studied more than two dozen traits that increase humans' ability to run. Their research is reported in the science journal Nature.
They suspect modern humans evolved from their ape-like ancestors about 2 million years ago so they could hunt and scavenge for food over large distances.
But the development of physical features that enabled humans to run entailed a trade off - the loss of traits that were useful for being a tree-climber.
"We are very confident that strong selection for running - which came at the expense of the historical ability to live in trees – was instrumental in the origin of the modern human body form," Prof. Bramble said in a statement.
The conventional theory is that running was a by-product of bipedalism, or the ability to walk upright on two legs, that evolved in ape-like human ancestors called Australopithecus at least 4.5 million years ago.
But Profs. Liberman and Bramble argue that it took a few million more years for the running physique to evolve, so the ability to walk cannot explain the transition.
"There were 2.5 million to 3 million years of bipedal walking without ever looking like a human, so is walking going to be what suddenly transforms the hominid body?" said Prof. Bramble.
"We're saying 'no, walking won't do that, but running will.'"
If natural selection did not favour running, the scientists believe humans would still look a lot like apes.
"Running has substantially shaped human evolution. Running made us human - at least in the anatomical sense," Prof. Bramble added.
Among the features that set humans apart from apes to make them good runners are longer legs to take longer strides, shorter forearms to enable the upper body to counterbalance the lower half during running and larger disks which allow for better shock absorption.
Big buttocks are also important.
"Have you ever looked at an ape? They have no buns," said Prof. Bramble.
Humans lean forward when they run and the buttocks "keep you from pitching over on your nose each time a foot hits the ground," he added.
My thoughts...is this a chicken and the egg thing? 'Running made us human'....or created to run?
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Do they know it's Christmas?
The new Band Aid single has come in for a bit of a slating. I must say I’ve not listened to it as yet so I can’t really comment. If the vote on the BBC link has anything to go by it doesn’t sound too good!
Although as they always say on these polls….’results are indicative and may not reflect public opinion’.
Although as they always say on these polls….’results are indicative and may not reflect public opinion’.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Are You Sleeping?
Great message spoken by our Pastor, Paul Benger, at church last night. It was entitled, 'My God, My Shield, My Glory and the Lifter of My Head', taken from Psalm 3. King David wrote this Psalm when he was being pursued by his enemies.
(1) O LORD, I have so many enemies; so many are against me. (2) So many are saying, "God will never rescue him!" (3) But you, O LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts my head high. (4) I cried out to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy mountain. (5) I lay down and slept. I woke up in safety, for the LORD was watching over me. (6) I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side. (7) Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked! (8) Victory comes from you, O LORD. May your blessings rest on your people.
Very often when we are troubled by something our sleep is effected. We can’t get any! Insomnia effects most of us at some point in our lives. Like David (vs 5) it’s great when you are able to go to bed, sleep and wake up the next morning knowing that God is with you, He is for you!
Here’s the link to Paul’s notes from last night. It’s a PDF file....I trust you are able to read it!
Sleep well!
(1) O LORD, I have so many enemies; so many are against me. (2) So many are saying, "God will never rescue him!" (3) But you, O LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts my head high. (4) I cried out to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy mountain. (5) I lay down and slept. I woke up in safety, for the LORD was watching over me. (6) I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side. (7) Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked! (8) Victory comes from you, O LORD. May your blessings rest on your people.
Very often when we are troubled by something our sleep is effected. We can’t get any! Insomnia effects most of us at some point in our lives. Like David (vs 5) it’s great when you are able to go to bed, sleep and wake up the next morning knowing that God is with you, He is for you!
Here’s the link to Paul’s notes from last night. It’s a PDF file....I trust you are able to read it!
Sleep well!
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Murder in the Orient
Tonight we're doing one of those murder mystery nights set around a meal. The theme is the Orient...I guess that means Chinese food! My sister is hosting the party.
My character is called Major Blunder, a Senior Diplomat. Smartly dressed in a suit, waistcoat, bow-tie. Also wearing a monacle and a moustache!
I've done a few of these now but never been the murderer....maybe tonight!
The best and worst one we ever did was when my wife played the tape at the wrong point at the end which revealed who the murderer was before we'd all had a chance to guess who it was!! What a star!
My character is called Major Blunder, a Senior Diplomat. Smartly dressed in a suit, waistcoat, bow-tie. Also wearing a monacle and a moustache!
I've done a few of these now but never been the murderer....maybe tonight!
The best and worst one we ever did was when my wife played the tape at the wrong point at the end which revealed who the murderer was before we'd all had a chance to guess who it was!! What a star!
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Happiness is...
Here’s something I will be sharing tomorrow night at our ‘Chatroom’ event for teenagers.
What is happiness?
Now lots of clever people have tried to work out what it is that makes us truly happy.
Some people think it boils down to three things:
The Bible speaks of Happiness:
(Psalm 144:15) ‘Happy are those who are like this; happy are the people whose God is the Lord’
Jesus said…(John 10:10) ‘I came to give life - life in all its fullness’
(Proverbs 16:20) ‘Whoever trusts the Lord will be happy’
Conclusion
What makes YOU happy?
What is happiness?
Now lots of clever people have tried to work out what it is that makes us truly happy.
Some people think it boils down to three things:
- Someone to love
- Something to do (purpose in life)
- Something to look forward to (the future)
The Bible speaks of Happiness:
(Psalm 144:15) ‘Happy are those who are like this; happy are the people whose God is the Lord’
Jesus said…(John 10:10) ‘I came to give life - life in all its fullness’
(Proverbs 16:20) ‘Whoever trusts the Lord will be happy’
Conclusion
- If we get to know God (there will be somebody to love)
- He gives us purpose in life
- Because he gives us a future we have something to look forward to
What makes YOU happy?
Monday, November 08, 2004
Birthday Girl
My wife, Jane, celebrates her ?? birthday today. Apparently you never mention a woman’s age after the age of 30 and I’ve been faithful to my word for 7 years.....I’m like that.
I nearly bought her a card that said, ‘I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop loving you’. Nice. I didn’t buy her that one just in case she found it.
I went for the more racy card. I guess I'm like that as well!
I nearly bought her a card that said, ‘I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop loving you’. Nice. I didn’t buy her that one just in case she found it.
I went for the more racy card. I guess I'm like that as well!
Geek Moment
Just having a geek moment. Read this article…..it will (should) blow your mind. It’s amazing to think what is just around the corner when it comes to all things computer.
I remember my old ZX81 with its 1K of memory and my excitement when I got the 16K expansion. Now it’s all Terabytes and Teraflops.
I remember my old ZX81 with its 1K of memory and my excitement when I got the 16K expansion. Now it’s all Terabytes and Teraflops.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Marathon Des Sables
You know that feeling, when you’ve achieved something for the first time you feel like you could take on anything?
Here’s the ultimate race, the Marathon des Sables. Run in the Sahara Desert over a steady 240 kilometres (151 miles) in 6 days, temperatures topping 120°F.
One day maybe....?!
Here’s the ultimate race, the Marathon des Sables. Run in the Sahara Desert over a steady 240 kilometres (151 miles) in 6 days, temperatures topping 120°F.
One day maybe....?!
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Old Chinese Proverb Say....
Lionfish quoted a great Chinese proverb the other day concerning procrastination, ‘Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time."
This reminded me of a few other Chinese proverbs....
This reminded me of a few other Chinese proverbs....
- Man with one chopstick go hungry
- Man who go to bed with coat-hanger in mouth wake up with smile on face
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
- War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left
- Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants
Sunday Night
We had another great time in church on Sunday night. Paul spoke from Joshua 18:1-10, concerning possessing the land. His title was, ‘It’s time to take up your possession!’
Verse 3: ‘How long are you going to wait before taking possession of the remaining land the Lord has given you?’
What I loved….4 lessons that help us, as a church, to possess the land God has given us.
1) Survey the Land (4) Select three men from each tribe, and I will send them out to survey the unconquered territory. Don’t bury your head in the sand….find out what’s happening out there! What is there left to possess….refresh your vision.
2) Know what God has given you (3) …the land the Lord has given you. Do you question God? ‘Did God really say…..?’ Just like the Devil sowed the seed of doubt into Eve’s mind, he still does the same today. Don’t believe the lie!
3) Do it now! As in the Nike advert.....’Just do it’ Joshua 1:6-7 (6) "Be strong and courageous, for you will lead my people to possess all the land I swore to give their ancestors. (7) Be strong and very courageous. Obey all the laws Moses gave you. Do not turn away from them, and you will be successful in everything you do.
4) Fight! (4)…..I will send them out to survey the unconquered territory. The land had to be possessed….conquered. We are in a fight for the souls of men and women. We are also, as a church believing for a building of our own, that there is one out there with our name on it!
Verse 3: ‘How long are you going to wait before taking possession of the remaining land the Lord has given you?’
What I loved….4 lessons that help us, as a church, to possess the land God has given us.
1) Survey the Land (4) Select three men from each tribe, and I will send them out to survey the unconquered territory. Don’t bury your head in the sand….find out what’s happening out there! What is there left to possess….refresh your vision.
2) Know what God has given you (3) …the land the Lord has given you. Do you question God? ‘Did God really say…..?’ Just like the Devil sowed the seed of doubt into Eve’s mind, he still does the same today. Don’t believe the lie!
3) Do it now! As in the Nike advert.....’Just do it’ Joshua 1:6-7 (6) "Be strong and courageous, for you will lead my people to possess all the land I swore to give their ancestors. (7) Be strong and very courageous. Obey all the laws Moses gave you. Do not turn away from them, and you will be successful in everything you do.
4) Fight! (4)…..I will send them out to survey the unconquered territory. The land had to be possessed….conquered. We are in a fight for the souls of men and women. We are also, as a church believing for a building of our own, that there is one out there with our name on it!
Sunday, October 31, 2004
I did it !
I did it....(1 hr 45 mins 40 secs) The kids made some flags for me!
Here's the link to the results (it's an Excel file).....I came 700th !!
Thursday, October 28, 2004
My First Half
This Sunday, at 10:30 am, I will be running in my first half marathon (13.1 miles). It is the Worksop Half Marathon which is just down the road from where I live (well about 12 miles away). I should be ok….I’m looking to do it in a nice steady 2 hours.
Middle Earth Discovered
‘In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.....’, well a Homo floresiensis actually.
Scientists have gone and dug up one of those old skeletons again and come up with a brand new species of Man. He’s little, hence the nick-name ‘Hobbit’.
This has confused scientists as it’s only dated at around 12,000 years old. I guess because there were some of our rather taller ancestors around at the same time. Apparently according to the scientists they may have evolved their small size in response to the scarcity of resources on the island they were found. Mmmmm?!
Anyway where was I.....’Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.’
Scientists have gone and dug up one of those old skeletons again and come up with a brand new species of Man. He’s little, hence the nick-name ‘Hobbit’.
This has confused scientists as it’s only dated at around 12,000 years old. I guess because there were some of our rather taller ancestors around at the same time. Apparently according to the scientists they may have evolved their small size in response to the scarcity of resources on the island they were found. Mmmmm?!
Anyway where was I.....’Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.’
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Socrates Returns
No not that Socrates….Brazilian football legend Socrates, at the age of fifty (5-0), has agreed a deal with the West Yorkshire non-League team Garforth Town of the Northern Counties East League.
Unbelievable eh?!
Unbelievable eh?!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Praise!
Tonight I will be meeting with our Worship Team to go over some new material. I will also be sharing some thoughts on ‘Praise’. Here is a brief glimpse at my notes.....
......The Bible is full of the word ‘praise’. (Mentioned 346 times in the New International Version of the Bible).
This emphasises its importance. How often does our society reflect the opposite of praise? Very often it is eaten up with a critical attitude, disrespect, indifference and at times selfish arrogance.
Two important principles regarding praise:
......The Bible is full of the word ‘praise’. (Mentioned 346 times in the New International Version of the Bible).
This emphasises its importance. How often does our society reflect the opposite of praise? Very often it is eaten up with a critical attitude, disrespect, indifference and at times selfish arrogance.
Two important principles regarding praise:
- Praise is an eternal exercise. Before time began, God was praised, and after time is no more, God will be praised.
- Everything was created to praise God. Not only is God praised in heaven, He made everything to praise Him.
As a Worship Team we should aim to be…
A group of people that are full of praise for God….and for one another.
Not having a negative, critical, cynical spirit. A positive, uplifting kind of people. A blessing to all those around us. In our actions, speech, behaviour.
Our music is one expression of our PRAISE.
Our lives are full of it.
Our times together are the continuation of that life of praise.
Sunday’s are our corporate opportunities to give our very best in praise to God....and to bless others!
Psalm 150:6 ‘Let everything that has breath praise the Lord’.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Last Post
I did consider deleting the last post. I think I'll leave the punditry to the experts next time.....that's a promise!
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Mind Games
Alex Ferguson is at it again. In the build up to today’s massive encounter between the two giants, Arsenal and Manchester United, he declares that United will always be Number One.
He’s quoted as saying, "Every player wants to play for Manchester United and it will always be the same. Arsenal's unbeaten record is terrific but we are ahead of everyone else in England when it comes to tradition."
Incredibly Arsenal have now gone 49 games unbeaten. Will today bring a halt to that incredible record? I don’t think so. United seem to be well behind Arsenal at the moment in belief and more importantly in the kind of quality that Arsenal are producing. Still, it’s a funny old game!
He’s quoted as saying, "Every player wants to play for Manchester United and it will always be the same. Arsenal's unbeaten record is terrific but we are ahead of everyone else in England when it comes to tradition."
Incredibly Arsenal have now gone 49 games unbeaten. Will today bring a halt to that incredible record? I don’t think so. United seem to be well behind Arsenal at the moment in belief and more importantly in the kind of quality that Arsenal are producing. Still, it’s a funny old game!
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
'My Mother in Law....'
My Mother and Father-in-law are staying with us at the moment for a few days, looking at houses for sale in the area. They’ve just sold their house down in Kent and are planning on moving nearer to us here in Chesterfield.
Now for some the thought of their Mother-in-law moving to just around the corner might be a little daunting. But not for me.
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!
No….I’m only kidding. They’re both great and we are all looking forward to them living near us.
As a big fan of Les Dawson here are a few Mother-in-law jokes:
Now for some the thought of their Mother-in-law moving to just around the corner might be a little daunting. But not for me.
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!
No….I’m only kidding. They’re both great and we are all looking forward to them living near us.
As a big fan of Les Dawson here are a few Mother-in-law jokes:
- I wouldn't say that my MIL was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.
- A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"
- I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
- I picked my MIL up at the airport last night. Yeah, those airport lounges are so dark!
- My MIL is so big, we had to stop buying her Malcolm X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her.
- I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door – the mice throw themselves on the traps.
- My mother-in-law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her, but he didn't know if he had enough petrol.
I love you really Pat!
Monday, October 18, 2004
What Kind of Chocolate Bar are You?
We had another awesome time in church last night.
One of our great friends was with us again, Louise Davies from the Hope City Church in Sheffield. (And she brought her Mum!)
She spoke about ‘being people with the Mars Bar spirit’….being able to ‘work, rest and play’. (Remember the old advert?!)
Rest….spend quality time with God resting in His presence. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
(The Message) - "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything."
Work…think positively about the position/job God has placed you in.
Play….enjoy life! Plan a day where you get to do something you really enjoy doing.
By the way, Louise is a bit of a ‘Snicker’ person really, slightly nutty, but soft and gooey on the inside!! Sorry Louise!
One of our great friends was with us again, Louise Davies from the Hope City Church in Sheffield. (And she brought her Mum!)
She spoke about ‘being people with the Mars Bar spirit’….being able to ‘work, rest and play’. (Remember the old advert?!)
Rest….spend quality time with God resting in His presence. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
(The Message) - "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything."
Work…think positively about the position/job God has placed you in.
Play….enjoy life! Plan a day where you get to do something you really enjoy doing.
By the way, Louise is a bit of a ‘Snicker’ person really, slightly nutty, but soft and gooey on the inside!! Sorry Louise!
Photos from Down Under
Here’s a few photos we’ve just received from Helen (sister-in-law) and her husband Steve who live in Perth, Western Australia. They’re taken from their recent holiday in Dunsborough about 3 hours south of Perth.
Helen at Bunker Bay
Steve at Bunker Bay
Bunker Bay
Helen at Bunker Bay
Steve at Bunker Bay
Bunker Bay
Thursday, October 14, 2004
'Doh' a Deer, a Female Deer
‘More people gain their philosophy of life and spiritual values through musicals than by going to church, says a new book. So what life lessons can musicals teach us?’ BBC Link
If I remember rightly a similar thing happened with the Salvation Army and William Booth in the late 19th Century. They realised the value of using melodies with which the people were familiar. William Booth is reputed to have said, 'Why should the devil have all best tunes?' Soon music-hall and other popular tunes were being used in Salvation Army meetings with new words.
Granted this was music driven back then as opposed to the actual ‘message’ of the musicals, but still, something to ponder.
The challenge for the church is always to present the unchanging powerful message of the Gospel in a relevant and contemporary way.
So what Musicals are they suggesting can teach us lessons in life?
Annie - Believe in yourself
Wizard of Oz - Stick by your friends
Sound of Music - Make the most of what you have
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers - Good things come to those who wait
Paint Your Wagon - Share and share alike
Half A Sixpence - Be true to yourself
Think of anymore??
If I remember rightly a similar thing happened with the Salvation Army and William Booth in the late 19th Century. They realised the value of using melodies with which the people were familiar. William Booth is reputed to have said, 'Why should the devil have all best tunes?' Soon music-hall and other popular tunes were being used in Salvation Army meetings with new words.
Granted this was music driven back then as opposed to the actual ‘message’ of the musicals, but still, something to ponder.
The challenge for the church is always to present the unchanging powerful message of the Gospel in a relevant and contemporary way.
So what Musicals are they suggesting can teach us lessons in life?
Annie - Believe in yourself
Wizard of Oz - Stick by your friends
Sound of Music - Make the most of what you have
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers - Good things come to those who wait
Paint Your Wagon - Share and share alike
Half A Sixpence - Be true to yourself
Think of anymore??
Important News Flash
I use the BBC Breaking News Alert Email Service which is quite handy at times when I’m sat at my desk at work.
Every so often though, like just now, I get some really important news items flashing up in my Inbox....
'Cambodia's royal council elects Prince Norodom Sihamoni to be the new monarch after the abdication of his father King Sihanouk last week.'
Thank goodness for that piece of news.....I will sleep easy tonight!
Sorry for the sarcasm, I’m not that cynical (honest!). I know this is very important news to some people in our world. Most news is.
The important thing is not to be afraid of it....
(Psalm 112:1 and 7) Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands.....He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Every so often though, like just now, I get some really important news items flashing up in my Inbox....
'Cambodia's royal council elects Prince Norodom Sihamoni to be the new monarch after the abdication of his father King Sihanouk last week.'
Thank goodness for that piece of news.....I will sleep easy tonight!
Sorry for the sarcasm, I’m not that cynical (honest!). I know this is very important news to some people in our world. Most news is.
The important thing is not to be afraid of it....
(Psalm 112:1 and 7) Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands.....He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The Matrix
I have the privilege of speaking to a group of teenagers on Friday night at a weekly event we put on called ‘Chatroom’. These are a great bunch of unchurched kids from the local area.
I will be talking to them about ‘Choices’. We all have and will have choices to make, some easy and some difficult. A great film to highlight this topic is the popular sci-fi movie, The Matrix. I will be showing a clip from the film, here’s a taster:
Morpheus: "It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth"
Neo: "What truth?"
Morpheus: "That you are a slave Neo, like everyone else you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch, a prison for your mind".[soul]
John 14:6 - Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to know God, but through me."
Like Morpheus, Jesus said that He was offering us the truth. Not another set of rules or religion....but Himself.
We either accept Him or reject Him….that’s the choice for us all today.
I will be talking to them about ‘Choices’. We all have and will have choices to make, some easy and some difficult. A great film to highlight this topic is the popular sci-fi movie, The Matrix. I will be showing a clip from the film, here’s a taster:
Morpheus: "It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth"
Neo: "What truth?"
Morpheus: "That you are a slave Neo, like everyone else you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch, a prison for your mind".[soul]
John 14:6 - Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to know God, but through me."
Like Morpheus, Jesus said that He was offering us the truth. Not another set of rules or religion....but Himself.
We either accept Him or reject Him….that’s the choice for us all today.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Running the Race of a Lifetime
I’m looking forward to speaking at church on Sunday 24 October. My message will be entitled, ‘Running the Race of a Lifetime’. Basically this will be ‘life lessons from running’. As a keen runner who is planning on doing a half marathon and then moving up to a full marathon, I felt there where some great lessons in life that we can learn from a runner’s perspective.
My six main points will be…
My six main points will be…
- Choose the right race
- Get started
- Find the momentum and stay there
- Training - staying focused on the day to days
- Make sure you’re eating properly
- Finishing the race well
The Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (24) Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. (25) Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (26) Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. (27) No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
And in 2 Timothy 4:7-8 "I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Choice.......Whose?
The Sunday Telegraph has reported that the British Pregnancy Advisory Service helps set up hundreds of late abortions without medical justification..... See BBC link.
I was watching the BBC Breakfast News this morning and heard Natasha Kaplinsky grilling a spokesperson for the anti-abortion organisation ‘Life’. That over-used phrase kept surfacing throughout the interview, ‘Isn’t it all about choice….a woman’s right to choose’.
This really does ‘grate’ and anger me. They never mention the unborn baby’s rights. I know the thought of having a baby for some, when it wasn’t planned, can be daunting especially when it is going to involve serious lifestyle changes. But how many times do things happen in our lives that are not planned for that need major adjustments in our life. Do we normally take such drastic actions to ensure that our lives remain the same as before?
I was watching the BBC Breakfast News this morning and heard Natasha Kaplinsky grilling a spokesperson for the anti-abortion organisation ‘Life’. That over-used phrase kept surfacing throughout the interview, ‘Isn’t it all about choice….a woman’s right to choose’.
This really does ‘grate’ and anger me. They never mention the unborn baby’s rights. I know the thought of having a baby for some, when it wasn’t planned, can be daunting especially when it is going to involve serious lifestyle changes. But how many times do things happen in our lives that are not planned for that need major adjustments in our life. Do we normally take such drastic actions to ensure that our lives remain the same as before?
Great Church Last Night
Great time in church last night. Paul Benger continued speaking from the Psalms (Psalm 2). It was an excellent message comparing two ways of living. One from a negative mindset where rage, bitterness and resentment has control (vs 1 to 3) and one from a life lived wisely where God is central and loved with reverence (vs 6-12).
Psalm 2:1-12 New Living Translation (for Paul)
(1) Why do the nations rage? Why do the people waste their time with futile plans?(2) The kings of the earth prepare for battle; the rulers plot together against the LORD and against his anointed one.(3) "Let us break their chains," they cry, "and free ourselves from this slavery."(4) But the one who rules in heaven laughs. The Lord scoffs at them.(5) Then in anger he rebukes them, terrifying them with his fierce fury.(6) For the LORD declares, "I have placed my chosen king on the throne in Jerusalem, my holy city."(7) The king proclaims the Lord's decree: "The LORD said to me, `You are my son. Today I have become your Father. (8) Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance,the ends of the earth as your possession.(9) You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots.' "(10) Now then, you kings, act wisely! Be warned, you rulers of the earth!(11) Serve the LORD with reverent fear, and rejoice with trembling.(12) Submit to God's royal son, or he will become angry, and you will be destroyed in the midst of your pursuits--for his anger can flare up in an instant. But what joy for all who find protection in him
As the Worship Pastor it was also an exciting night to be able to teach the church a new song written by one of our talented young musicians, David Wilkins (lead guitarist). The song is called ‘Dreams’….here are the lyrics:
I fall before Your throne of grace
I’m here upon my knees again
I’m reaching for the love
I know that saves
Deeper in You I strive
Reaching for the things beyond my view
Assured of Your faithfulness
Trusting in You
Alone I seek to praise You
Glorify the One
Who reigns on high
My dreams are in You
My dreams are of You
Sanctify this heart and make them true
Above is where my destiny lies
I trust in You at all times
I’m desperate for You to reign
Empower this life You so freely gave
Humble before You
I can only adore You
So focused on You
You’re all that’s in view
Though I may fall and break
My faith is in You
The restorer and sustainer of all
Show me more
Psalm 2:1-12 New Living Translation (for Paul)
(1) Why do the nations rage? Why do the people waste their time with futile plans?(2) The kings of the earth prepare for battle; the rulers plot together against the LORD and against his anointed one.(3) "Let us break their chains," they cry, "and free ourselves from this slavery."(4) But the one who rules in heaven laughs. The Lord scoffs at them.(5) Then in anger he rebukes them, terrifying them with his fierce fury.(6) For the LORD declares, "I have placed my chosen king on the throne in Jerusalem, my holy city."(7) The king proclaims the Lord's decree: "The LORD said to me, `You are my son. Today I have become your Father. (8) Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance,the ends of the earth as your possession.(9) You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots.' "(10) Now then, you kings, act wisely! Be warned, you rulers of the earth!(11) Serve the LORD with reverent fear, and rejoice with trembling.(12) Submit to God's royal son, or he will become angry, and you will be destroyed in the midst of your pursuits--for his anger can flare up in an instant. But what joy for all who find protection in him
As the Worship Pastor it was also an exciting night to be able to teach the church a new song written by one of our talented young musicians, David Wilkins (lead guitarist). The song is called ‘Dreams’….here are the lyrics:
I fall before Your throne of grace
I’m here upon my knees again
I’m reaching for the love
I know that saves
Deeper in You I strive
Reaching for the things beyond my view
Assured of Your faithfulness
Trusting in You
Alone I seek to praise You
Glorify the One
Who reigns on high
My dreams are in You
My dreams are of You
Sanctify this heart and make them true
Above is where my destiny lies
I trust in You at all times
I’m desperate for You to reign
Empower this life You so freely gave
Humble before You
I can only adore You
So focused on You
You’re all that’s in view
Though I may fall and break
My faith is in You
The restorer and sustainer of all
Show me more
Friday, October 08, 2004
'Our Lass is Feeling a Bit Manky'
Continuing our medical theme of the day.....here’s how some Austrian doctors are integrating into the South Yorkshire area. They’re learning some of the wonderful Yorkshire dialect.
Some examples:
YORKSHIRE TO ENGLISH
Ey oop = Hello
Fizog = Face
Lughole = Ear
Jiggered = Exhausted
Manky = Rough
Our lass = Wife
Gipping = Vomiting
Some examples:
YORKSHIRE TO ENGLISH
Ey oop = Hello
Fizog = Face
Lughole = Ear
Jiggered = Exhausted
Manky = Rough
Our lass = Wife
Gipping = Vomiting
Heath and Fitness: The Real Facts
Here’s some important health advice from Dr Paul Baggaley (aka Baggas) from Perth, WA. Not to be taken too seriously though.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Table Tennis Anyone?
My good friend Paul Benger reckons he's pretty good at Table Tennis (or Ping Pong in some countries). Is he as good as these two, though? Amazing stuff......eh?!
'No one would have believed.....'
Here’s a film I’m looking forward to. The HG Wells classic ‘The War of the Worlds’, starring Tom Cruise and directed by Steven Spielberg.
I loved this story growing up and also Jeff Wayne’s musical version. I was never that keen on the first movie set in 1950’s America…..always looking forward to one based on the original novel.
Well hopefully this new version, out in the Summer (2005), will not disappoint!
By the way, the web site above is a great place to find out about up and coming movies. It’s on my Favourites list.
I loved this story growing up and also Jeff Wayne’s musical version. I was never that keen on the first movie set in 1950’s America…..always looking forward to one based on the original novel.
Well hopefully this new version, out in the Summer (2005), will not disappoint!
By the way, the web site above is a great place to find out about up and coming movies. It’s on my Favourites list.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Be Happy!
Psalm 1:1-3 (NLT) - (1) Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with scoffers. (2) But they delight in doing everything the LORD wants; day and night they think about his law. (3) They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season without fail. Their leaves never wither, and in all they do, they prosper
Last night at church, Paul shared with us an excellent message from Psalm 1, the first 3 verses.
Here’s what I loved….
3 keys to being truly happy or blessed:
Delight (vs 2 - But they delight in doing everything the LORD wants) Be enthusiastic about the things God has called you to do!
Meditate (vs 2 - day and night they think about his law) Regurgitate, go over the promises of God. When negative thoughts come replace them with God’s truth.
Planted (vs 3 - They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season without fail. Their leaves never wither, and in all they do, they prosper) Wherever we are planted, good or bad, the fruit we bear will reflect the place we’re at. We need to make sure we’re planted in a good place.
Psalm 92:12-14 (NIV) - (12) The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; (13) planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (14) They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.
Last night at church, Paul shared with us an excellent message from Psalm 1, the first 3 verses.
Here’s what I loved….
3 keys to being truly happy or blessed:
Delight (vs 2 - But they delight in doing everything the LORD wants) Be enthusiastic about the things God has called you to do!
Meditate (vs 2 - day and night they think about his law) Regurgitate, go over the promises of God. When negative thoughts come replace them with God’s truth.
Planted (vs 3 - They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season without fail. Their leaves never wither, and in all they do, they prosper) Wherever we are planted, good or bad, the fruit we bear will reflect the place we’re at. We need to make sure we’re planted in a good place.
Psalm 92:12-14 (NIV) - (12) The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; (13) planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (14) They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Room 101
I hear that comedian Harry Hill is on Room 101 tomorrow night on BBC2 (9:30pm). I might give it a view, I quite like Harry Hill and apparently he will be suggesting that God should be consigned to Room 101.
He is quoted as saying ‘God lacks vision. He’s like a builder whose got another job on. We have all these bad things that he’s organised – hurricanes, earthquakes and so on – but when was the last time we had a miracle? Two thousand years ago we had miracles everyday!’
I don’t think its God who lacks vision!
Let’s see what kind of a response he gets.
He is quoted as saying ‘God lacks vision. He’s like a builder whose got another job on. We have all these bad things that he’s organised – hurricanes, earthquakes and so on – but when was the last time we had a miracle? Two thousand years ago we had miracles everyday!’
I don’t think its God who lacks vision!
Let’s see what kind of a response he gets.
Friday, October 01, 2004
The Road Goes Ever On and On….
I know I’m sad when it comes to all things 'Lord of the Rings' but I am going to miss my fix this Christmas time!
Or maybe not....as the Return of the King extended edition will be out in December with an additional 50 minutes, making the third film in the trilogy 3 hours and 50 minutes long.
Imagine that, watching this along side the other 2 extended versions and you’ll need to set aside 11 hours and 23 minutes to watch the whole saga from beginning to end!
Time is a precious thing……
Or maybe not....as the Return of the King extended edition will be out in December with an additional 50 minutes, making the third film in the trilogy 3 hours and 50 minutes long.
Imagine that, watching this along side the other 2 extended versions and you’ll need to set aside 11 hours and 23 minutes to watch the whole saga from beginning to end!
Time is a precious thing……
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Will the 'Good Samaritan' Please Stand Up?
This is an incredible modern day true story of the ‘Good Samaritan’ that happened recently in Sidcup, UK.
CCTV footage shows a woman laying bleeding and unconscious in the road. None of the drivers stopped and some even swerved to avoid her.
I can only assume that ‘fear’ is the major cause of society’s indifference.
In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus outlined the way to inherit eternal life was to ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind’ and to ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. He then proceeded to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan.
The challenge is to put aside our fears and to ‘do to others what you would have them do to you’. Loving your neighbour as yourself is doing just that.
Jesus said….’go and do likewise’.
CCTV footage shows a woman laying bleeding and unconscious in the road. None of the drivers stopped and some even swerved to avoid her.
I can only assume that ‘fear’ is the major cause of society’s indifference.
In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus outlined the way to inherit eternal life was to ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind’ and to ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. He then proceeded to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan.
The challenge is to put aside our fears and to ‘do to others what you would have them do to you’. Loving your neighbour as yourself is doing just that.
Jesus said….’go and do likewise’.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Rooney! Rooney! Rooney!
Wayne Rooney debuted for Manchester United last night, and what a dream start he had! Scoring an incredible hat-trick in an ‘almost’ comfortable win against Fenerbahce in the Champions League.
At just 18 he does not seem to be effected by the immense pressure and high expectations placed upon him, and Alex Ferguson, the United boss, says he is still developing and can only get stronger. Let’s hope so!
He may play for Manchester United, but the best thing of course is……he’s English! I still wonder what would have happened had he not limped off in the quarter-final of the European Championship against Portugal…..who knows?!
At just 18 he does not seem to be effected by the immense pressure and high expectations placed upon him, and Alex Ferguson, the United boss, says he is still developing and can only get stronger. Let’s hope so!
He may play for Manchester United, but the best thing of course is……he’s English! I still wonder what would have happened had he not limped off in the quarter-final of the European Championship against Portugal…..who knows?!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Finding Nemo
We finished our series on CLC at the movies last Sunday. A great one to finish with, Paul Benger shared with us the film Finding Nemo.
Pixar’s best film to date and what an excellent story with a great message of hope for those lost.
The idea of using movies as parables (Jesus style) is a great way of communicating the truth.
Jesus used 3 great parables to present the fact that the Father is seeking out the lost. Luke 15 speaks of the ‘Lost Sheep’, the ‘Lost Coin’ and the ‘Lost Son’.
Read this chapter and see a God who loves us in such a way that he seeks out the 1 amongst the 100! And look also at what each story has in common….there’s always a party when the lost are found!
Pixar’s best film to date and what an excellent story with a great message of hope for those lost.
The idea of using movies as parables (Jesus style) is a great way of communicating the truth.
Jesus used 3 great parables to present the fact that the Father is seeking out the lost. Luke 15 speaks of the ‘Lost Sheep’, the ‘Lost Coin’ and the ‘Lost Son’.
Read this chapter and see a God who loves us in such a way that he seeks out the 1 amongst the 100! And look also at what each story has in common….there’s always a party when the lost are found!
Monday, September 27, 2004
Space Tourism Just Around the Corner?
Virgin boss Sir Richard Branson has announced his company has signed an agreement worth £14m to secure the first commercial flights into space. (Read more at BBC)
A seat on one of these flights could cost as much as £115,000….I’ll have 2 please!
I think I’ll wait until the price comes down a bit….maybe when Easyjet gets involved!
I would love to see Earth from space though….I’m sure it would effect even the hardest sceptic who questions the existence of a creator God.
A seat on one of these flights could cost as much as £115,000….I’ll have 2 please!
I think I’ll wait until the price comes down a bit….maybe when Easyjet gets involved!
I would love to see Earth from space though….I’m sure it would effect even the hardest sceptic who questions the existence of a creator God.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
What Stung Me?
Up until this morning I’d never been stung by a bee or a wasp. As I set out on my morning run at 6:25am (I was meeting a friend for our weekly jog) 200 yards down the road when suddenly wham! Just above my left knee, a sharp shooting pain like a hot needle.
I thought I’d torn something at first but then realised that it was too acute to be anything like that. I ended up having to drive up the road to my friend to tell him I couldn’t run (a bit embarrassing really)
The amazing thing was I never saw what actually stung me…it was still a bit too dark. So it’s taken me 36 years to get stung but I still don’t know if it was a bee or a wasp….or was it something else?!
I’ve always had a bit of a fear for buzzing stinging insects, maybe this has cured me at last! It wasn’t that bad after all.
I thought I’d torn something at first but then realised that it was too acute to be anything like that. I ended up having to drive up the road to my friend to tell him I couldn’t run (a bit embarrassing really)
The amazing thing was I never saw what actually stung me…it was still a bit too dark. So it’s taken me 36 years to get stung but I still don’t know if it was a bee or a wasp….or was it something else?!
I’ve always had a bit of a fear for buzzing stinging insects, maybe this has cured me at last! It wasn’t that bad after all.
Friday, September 24, 2004
In Loving Memory
The legendary English football manager and former Nottingham Forest and Derby County boss Brian Clough passed away this past week aged 69.
He was well loved and respected, not least for his straight talking and sense of humour.
In tribute to the tremendous character that was Cloughie, here are some reminders of his forthright opinions and wit.
"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one" - On his own success.
"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there" - On the importance of passing the ball to feet.
"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard" - On dealing with Roy Keane.
"We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right" - On dealing with players who disagree with him.
"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players" - On the appointment of Sven-Goran Eriksson.
"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd because that's exactly what I would have done" - On not getting the England manager's job.
"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius" - His tribute to Martin O'Neill, who used to manage Leicester City.
"That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that" - On the pony-tailed former England goalkeeper David Seaman.
"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well" - Saying that too many managers lose their jobs.
"I thought it was my next-door neighbour because I think she felt that if I got something like that I would have to move" - Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.
"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband" - Advice for David Beckham.
"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive" - After the liver transplant which saved his life.
"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed. I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me." - On being remembered
He was well loved and respected, not least for his straight talking and sense of humour.
In tribute to the tremendous character that was Cloughie, here are some reminders of his forthright opinions and wit.
"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one" - On his own success.
"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there" - On the importance of passing the ball to feet.
"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard" - On dealing with Roy Keane.
"We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right" - On dealing with players who disagree with him.
"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players" - On the appointment of Sven-Goran Eriksson.
"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd because that's exactly what I would have done" - On not getting the England manager's job.
"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius" - His tribute to Martin O'Neill, who used to manage Leicester City.
"That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that" - On the pony-tailed former England goalkeeper David Seaman.
"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well" - Saying that too many managers lose their jobs.
"I thought it was my next-door neighbour because I think she felt that if I got something like that I would have to move" - Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.
"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband" - Advice for David Beckham.
"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive" - After the liver transplant which saved his life.
"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed. I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me." - On being remembered
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Top 10 Films Never to Have Won an Oscar
In a recent poll conducted by the Radio Times 6000 people voted the following as the top 10 films never to have won an Oscar (The survey was based on films which had not won best film, best actor, best actress, best supporting actress, best supporting actor, best director and best foreign language film):
1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. It's a Wonderful Life
3. ET the Extra-Terrestrial
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey
5. The Great Escape
6. The Wizard of Oz
7. Some Like It Hot
8. The Colour Purple
9. Raiders of the Lost Ark
10. Psycho
More Fools Awards
To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of super-glue for his haemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.
To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with a stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith." His lawyer told the court: "My client is not a very bright young man."
To Michael Robinson, who rang the police to deliver a bomb threat, but became so agitated about the mounting cost of the call that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left his phone number.
To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on the side.
To Percy the Pigeon, who flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft, having beaten 1,000 rivals in a 500 mile race, and was immediately eaten by a cat. Alas, the 90-minute delay resulting from finding his remains and handing his ID tag to the judges relegated Percy from first to third place.
To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock - and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with a stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith." His lawyer told the court: "My client is not a very bright young man."
To Michael Robinson, who rang the police to deliver a bomb threat, but became so agitated about the mounting cost of the call that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left his phone number.
To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on the side.
To Percy the Pigeon, who flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft, having beaten 1,000 rivals in a 500 mile race, and was immediately eaten by a cat. Alas, the 90-minute delay resulting from finding his remains and handing his ID tag to the judges relegated Percy from first to third place.
To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock - and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
We Wooped 'Em Good Part 2
Well first it was the Americans (at golf) in the Ryder Cup and know it's the unbeatable Aussies (at cricket) in the ICC Champions Trophy Semi Final ....whatever next?!
Monday, September 20, 2004
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Last night, at church, was the third night in our ‘CLC at the Movies’ series. There are four in the series throughout September. The last one being next Sunday when it will be 'Finding Nemo’ – can’t wait!
It was my turn last night and I presented ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’. One of the main points was all about the kind of ‘True Love’ that Toula finds in Ian which releases her from her mundane life and brings her freedom.
When we know God’s love and experience it for ourselves it brings freedom and releases us from past hurts/present circumstances.
Romans 8:35-49: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
God loves you like this!
There is nowhere you can go; nowhere you can hide that out distances you from God’s love; nothing you can do will put you beyond it; no-one and nothing can get in the way and obstruct it. Uninterrupted, constant, outgoing love from God to YOU!
It was my turn last night and I presented ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’. One of the main points was all about the kind of ‘True Love’ that Toula finds in Ian which releases her from her mundane life and brings her freedom.
When we know God’s love and experience it for ourselves it brings freedom and releases us from past hurts/present circumstances.
Romans 8:35-49: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
God loves you like this!
There is nowhere you can go; nowhere you can hide that out distances you from God’s love; nothing you can do will put you beyond it; no-one and nothing can get in the way and obstruct it. Uninterrupted, constant, outgoing love from God to YOU!
We Wooped 'Em Good
‘John Wayne, the Statue of Liberty, Elvis Presley, JFK, George W Bush, Abraham Lincoln….your boys took one hell of a beating!’
The Ryder Cup: Europe 18 ½ USA 9 ½
Keep looking at that score above….can you believe it?!
A big hand for the lads……for Bernhard Langer, Paul Casey, Darren Clarke, Luke Donald, Sergio Garcia, Padraig Harrington, David Howell, Miguel Angel Jiménez, Thomas Levet, Paul McGinley, Colin Montgomerie, Ian Poulter, Lee Westwood.
Well done boys!
The Ryder Cup: Europe 18 ½ USA 9 ½
Keep looking at that score above….can you believe it?!
A big hand for the lads……for Bernhard Langer, Paul Casey, Darren Clarke, Luke Donald, Sergio Garcia, Padraig Harrington, David Howell, Miguel Angel Jiménez, Thomas Levet, Paul McGinley, Colin Montgomerie, Ian Poulter, Lee Westwood.
Well done boys!
Friday, September 17, 2004
Classic Lines from the Greats
"It's strange, isn't it? You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaggggghhhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in." Tommy Cooper
'I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors and one of the attendants said, "Keep her moving sir, we're stock taking."' Les Dawson
"My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade." Peter Kay
"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin." Tommy Cooper
'I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors and one of the attendants said, "Keep her moving sir, we're stock taking."' Les Dawson
"My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade." Peter Kay
"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin." Tommy Cooper
Apathy
Talked about apathy at our church staff meeting last night.....here are some great quotes on the matter:
"Apathy can only be overcome by enthusiasm." - Arnold Toynbee
"Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand." - Bodie Thoene
"There is so much apathy in the world today . . . but who cares?" - unknown
"Somewhere between apathy and anarchy lies the thinking human being." - Rod Serling (1924-1975)
"Tolerance is composed of nine parts apathy to one of brotherly love." - Frank Moore Colby (1865-1925)
"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care." - William Safire
"Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all — the apathy of human beings." - Helen Keller (1880-1968)
"Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear." - Dan Millman
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." - Jesus (Revelation 3:15-16)
"Apathy can only be overcome by enthusiasm." - Arnold Toynbee
"Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand." - Bodie Thoene
"There is so much apathy in the world today . . . but who cares?" - unknown
"Somewhere between apathy and anarchy lies the thinking human being." - Rod Serling (1924-1975)
"Tolerance is composed of nine parts apathy to one of brotherly love." - Frank Moore Colby (1865-1925)
"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care." - William Safire
"Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all — the apathy of human beings." - Helen Keller (1880-1968)
"Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear." - Dan Millman
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." - Jesus (Revelation 3:15-16)
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Climate Changes
With all the news on TV lately about the extreme weather conditions affecting the Gulf of Mexico, the mud slides in the Middle East and South America, along with the dire predictions made by such films as The Day After Tomorrow, we shouldn't forget that England has its fair share of devastating weather too.
Here's a PHOTO illustrating the damage caused to a friend's home from a storm that passed through Chesterfield recently. It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take things for granted.
Here's a PHOTO illustrating the damage caused to a friend's home from a storm that passed through Chesterfield recently. It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take things for granted.
Monday, September 13, 2004
'Luke.....I am your Father'
A panel of experts (including Thunderbirds creator Gerry Anderson) have selected the top 30 most important sc-fi moments in history.
From the list on the BBC link I went for Alien and the chest bursting scene. A bit gory I know, but the shock factor made it unforgettable. The Star Wars moment when Darth Vader’s true identity is made known comes a close second.
What’s your favourite?
Of course there are some ‘forgettable’ sci-fi moments. The whole of Star Trek V (The Final Frontier) springs to mind.
From the list on the BBC link I went for Alien and the chest bursting scene. A bit gory I know, but the shock factor made it unforgettable. The Star Wars moment when Darth Vader’s true identity is made known comes a close second.
What’s your favourite?
Of course there are some ‘forgettable’ sci-fi moments. The whole of Star Trek V (The Final Frontier) springs to mind.
At the Movies Part 2
Paul Benger brought the second in our ‘church at the movies’ series last night. This time it was Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ve seen the film several times and wondered what clips he might use. We weren’t disappointed. My favourite has to be the moment when Captain Norrington says of Jack Sparrow, ‘One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness’, and Jack replies, "Although it seems enough to condemn him’
Paul then asked the question, ‘How many good deeds does it take to redeem a man from a lifetime of wickedness?’
The answer…..none. Only one Man could do that!
Romans 5:17-18: The sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over us, but all who receive God's wonderful, gracious gift of righteousness will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ. Yes, Adam's one sin brought condemnation upon everyone, but Christ's one act of righteousness makes all people right in God's sight and gives them life.
By the way, my father-in-law (David ‘Pirates’ Loveday) has seen the film many times, to say he’s mad on it would be an under-statement!
Here’s the script of the movie for you devotees.
All hands to the boats!
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Pheasant or Rat Day ?
Yesterday morning whilst out running I came across a dead pheasant lying at the side of the road. I probably should have picked it up and brought it home....well it was in good condition and looked fresh (still warm!). Jane said she would have prepared it as well!
This morning, again out running, just a few yards away from where the pheasant had been lying I found a dead rat!
Is there a moral to this story? What do you think? All I could come up with was, 'somedays you get pheasant and somedays you get rat!'
This morning, again out running, just a few yards away from where the pheasant had been lying I found a dead rat!
Is there a moral to this story? What do you think? All I could come up with was, 'somedays you get pheasant and somedays you get rat!'
Friday, September 10, 2004
Thursday, September 09, 2004
All Together Now
All the kids ready for school...
This is the first time all of our kids are now at the same school together. Well for one year anyway before Daniel heads off to Secondary School.
Blogger Problems
Couldn't publish yesterday for some reason....don't know if anybody else has ever had that problem?
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
More from the Holy Grail
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
[Maynard and his assistant come forward with the monks, carrying the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch on a pillow.]
Arthur: How does it uhm... How does it work?
Assistant: I know not, my liege.
Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!
Maynard: Armaments, Chapter 2, vs. 9 to 21...
Assistant: …and Saint Attila raised the Hand Grenade up on high, saying...
O Lord, bless this, thy Hand Grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and lima beans, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and lice...
Maynard: Skip a bit, brother...
Assistant: And the Lord spake, saying:
First shalt thou take out the holy pin. Then thou shalt count to three. No more. No less.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of thy counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, nor shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Maynard: Amen.
All monks: Amen.
Arthur: Right. [pulling out pin] One... Two... Five!
Galahad: Three, sir!
Arthur: Three! [throws grenade]
[BLAM! The rabbit, being naughty in the Lord's sight, does indeed, snuff it. Cautiously the party enters the cave.]
[Maynard and his assistant come forward with the monks, carrying the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch on a pillow.]
Arthur: How does it uhm... How does it work?
Assistant: I know not, my liege.
Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!
Maynard: Armaments, Chapter 2, vs. 9 to 21...
Assistant: …and Saint Attila raised the Hand Grenade up on high, saying...
O Lord, bless this, thy Hand Grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and lima beans, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and lice...
Maynard: Skip a bit, brother...
Assistant: And the Lord spake, saying:
First shalt thou take out the holy pin. Then thou shalt count to three. No more. No less.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of thy counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, nor shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Maynard: Amen.
All monks: Amen.
Arthur: Right. [pulling out pin] One... Two... Five!
Galahad: Three, sir!
Arthur: Three! [throws grenade]
[BLAM! The rabbit, being naughty in the Lord's sight, does indeed, snuff it. Cautiously the party enters the cave.]
Monday, September 06, 2004
Church Last Night
Church good last night. Throughout the month of September our church is hosting a number of Sunday evening events based upon modern day movie themes.
Taking certain films, and in a similar way to how Jesus taught using the stories or parables of the day, we are presenting relevant messages pertaining to life today.
Last night Paul Benger spoke around the movie ‘Gladiator’. So many great moments in the movie to speak about.
Other movies will be…
12.09.04 Pirates of the Caribbean
19.09.04 My Big Fat Greek Wedding
26.09.04 Finding Nemo
I’m doing the one on the 19th, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a Rom-Com for the ladies!
Anybody seen it? Any suggestions for what illustrations to use?
Taking certain films, and in a similar way to how Jesus taught using the stories or parables of the day, we are presenting relevant messages pertaining to life today.
Last night Paul Benger spoke around the movie ‘Gladiator’. So many great moments in the movie to speak about.
Other movies will be…
12.09.04 Pirates of the Caribbean
19.09.04 My Big Fat Greek Wedding
26.09.04 Finding Nemo
I’m doing the one on the 19th, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a Rom-Com for the ladies!
Anybody seen it? Any suggestions for what illustrations to use?
Friday, September 03, 2004
Jake's First Day
My youngest, Jacob, is 4 almost 5 and it's his first day at school today. Here's a photo I took of him this morning before I left for work. He's really excited and can't wait to get there. I wish the other 3 were just as enthusiastic!!
Thursday, September 02, 2004
New from Hillsong
Here’s a new CD/DVD for us all to buy, soon to be released by Hillsong. It’s a live worship compilation by the Hillsong team and Delirious? recorded live at the Sydney SuperDome in July 2003.
I’m plugging it because I was a part of the choir that night…..well me and a few hundred others! Still it was an awesome experience and one I’ll never forget…….wonder if I’m on the DVD?!?
I’m plugging it because I was a part of the choir that night…..well me and a few hundred others! Still it was an awesome experience and one I’ll never forget…….wonder if I’m on the DVD?!?
Incredible but True!
Here’s an amazing real life story. Fancy waking up from a coma and finding out you’ve had a baby!
At the Movies
Saw a couple of movies while we were on holiday.
Firstly there was I, Robot. This was ok but there seemed to be something missing. It looks great but the whole thing felt a bit rushed. I guess this can be a criticism levelled at a number of sci-fi movies…so much to cram in without much time for acclimatising us to the time/place etc.
Secondly there was The Bourne Supremacy, this I really enjoyed and highly recommend - much better than the first (The Bourne Identity). Ironically this also felt rushed but of course, if you’ve already seen the first, the characters/plot are already there. The pace of the movie adds to the enjoyment. There’s also a good story-line which is not lost and for a change not too complicated.
Firstly there was I, Robot. This was ok but there seemed to be something missing. It looks great but the whole thing felt a bit rushed. I guess this can be a criticism levelled at a number of sci-fi movies…so much to cram in without much time for acclimatising us to the time/place etc.
Secondly there was The Bourne Supremacy, this I really enjoyed and highly recommend - much better than the first (The Bourne Identity). Ironically this also felt rushed but of course, if you’ve already seen the first, the characters/plot are already there. The pace of the movie adds to the enjoyment. There’s also a good story-line which is not lost and for a change not too complicated.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Please Pray
I was at Grapevine 2004 (Christian event on the Lincolnshire Showground) on Sunday when during the evening celebration at about 7:30pm one of the temporary stands at the back suddenly collapsed. BBC Link.
Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt, a few broken bones etc. It could have been much worse. There was a real sense of calm and a lot of praying going off after it happened.
Everybody seemed to work well together, the emergency services and also the Grapevine staff. Our own Paul Benger was at the heart of what was going off. Paul was in charge of all the stewarding for the event, I’m sure we will get his version of events in the next few days.
Delirious? were leading worship at the time. I’m sure they would have been severely effected by what happened.
Please pray for healing for all those who were hurt physically and emotionally....including prayers for Martin and the band.
Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt, a few broken bones etc. It could have been much worse. There was a real sense of calm and a lot of praying going off after it happened.
Everybody seemed to work well together, the emergency services and also the Grapevine staff. Our own Paul Benger was at the heart of what was going off. Paul was in charge of all the stewarding for the event, I’m sure we will get his version of events in the next few days.
Delirious? were leading worship at the time. I’m sure they would have been severely effected by what happened.
Please pray for healing for all those who were hurt physically and emotionally....including prayers for Martin and the band.
More on the Holiday
As I said below the forest lodge we stayed in was excellent. We had the use of our own private hot tub which we all enjoyed on a daily basis. The kids are crying out for one at home (I don't think so!!)
We visited Lynmouth which was the location of a devastating flash flood back in August 1952 where over 30 people were killed. Incredibly during our holiday a similar flood occurred in Boscastle less than 50 miles away....amazingly no one was killed.
Also whilst we were there we visited the Tanners Restaurant in Plymouth this was to celebrate our wedding anniversary. The food and surroundings were superb. Here's a taste of what we had. Jane had the Monk Fish with Tagliatelli (main course) and the Creme Brulee (dessert). I had the Fillet Beef with Tiger Prawns and Chocolate Brownie with Vanilla Ice Cream. We missed taking photos of the starters...I had the plum tomato, goats cheese and basil gateau, Jane had the fish soup.
So despite the weather we had a wonderful time.
We visited Lynmouth which was the location of a devastating flash flood back in August 1952 where over 30 people were killed. Incredibly during our holiday a similar flood occurred in Boscastle less than 50 miles away....amazingly no one was killed.
Also whilst we were there we visited the Tanners Restaurant in Plymouth this was to celebrate our wedding anniversary. The food and surroundings were superb. Here's a taste of what we had. Jane had the Monk Fish with Tagliatelli (main course) and the Creme Brulee (dessert). I had the Fillet Beef with Tiger Prawns and Chocolate Brownie with Vanilla Ice Cream. We missed taking photos of the starters...I had the plum tomato, goats cheese and basil gateau, Jane had the fish soup.
So despite the weather we had a wonderful time.
The Sun Shines on the Righteous?
Just got back from our holiday in North Devon (UK) and you could say it wasn't the kind of weather we were looking forward to. It has been reported that for Britain this was the wettest August ever recorded!! Also it is now officially the worst summer we've ever experienced as far as temperatures and rainfall go....and we chose to have a holiday in the UK in that particular summer and in that particular month!
Still....we had a great time! It didn't spoil our fun too much. The only downside is we would have loved to have got on the beach more than we did.
We stayed in a great place....a beautiful forest lodge in lovely woodland surroundings with 5 lakes full of fish (caught a few). I'll post a few photos next.
Still....we had a great time! It didn't spoil our fun too much. The only downside is we would have loved to have got on the beach more than we did.
We stayed in a great place....a beautiful forest lodge in lovely woodland surroundings with 5 lakes full of fish (caught a few). I'll post a few photos next.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Having a bad day?
Well I'm having a great day. I'm what they call 'demob' happy as I finish work today for 2 weeks....going on my hols!
If you are having a bad day consider these poor souls....
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down just eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening Jive Bunny on his Walkman.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
So you think you're having a bad day!!
If you are having a bad day consider these poor souls....
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down just eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening Jive Bunny on his Walkman.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
So you think you're having a bad day!!
Happy Birthday
My guitar is 11 years old this month.….anybody wishing to send it their regards?
It's an Ovation Collector’s Series 1993. I gave it it’s 6 weekly re-string last night and a good clean. It’s starting to sound ‘real nice’ as all the different woods it is made up of are starting to come of age. Began to realise it may be in need of some restoration work soon i.e. new frets etc…..wonder what it will cost me?
It's an Ovation Collector’s Series 1993. I gave it it’s 6 weekly re-string last night and a good clean. It’s starting to sound ‘real nice’ as all the different woods it is made up of are starting to come of age. Began to realise it may be in need of some restoration work soon i.e. new frets etc…..wonder what it will cost me?
Thursday, August 12, 2004
In the News....
Some genuine news snippets...
From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:
Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labelled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.
From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
From The Times:
A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common these days."
From The Gloucester Citizen:
An adult phone line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved."
From The Derby Abbey Community News:
"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."
From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:
Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labelled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.
From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
From The Times:
A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common these days."
From The Gloucester Citizen:
An adult phone line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved."
From The Derby Abbey Community News:
"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."
It's Pay Day !
Who looks forward to pay day? As a Payroll Manager this is a busy time for me. When pay day arrives people receive their pay-slip. Guess what…nobody ever phones up/or pops their head round the door and says, ‘Oh thank you, thank you so much for this wonderful undeserved gift. How can I possibly thank you enough for my wages this month?’
If that ever happened I’d probably faint. Certainly you would think something was wrong with them because - the payslip or pay is not a gift. You’ve earned it…you deserve it. (I hope!) In the workplace there is no such thing as grace. We earn what we receive, we work for it. The wage is not a gift.
Romans 4:4-5: When people work, their wages are not a gift. Workers earn what they receive. But people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work. (NLT)
But with the God the economy is altogether different. Spiritually speaking you and I haven’t earned anything but death. What do we deserve, what have we earned? The answer…..Zip!
But…
Ephesians 2:8-9: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. (NIV)
Because of God’s ‘amazing grace’ the free gift of eternal life has been given to us…….wow!
If that ever happened I’d probably faint. Certainly you would think something was wrong with them because - the payslip or pay is not a gift. You’ve earned it…you deserve it. (I hope!) In the workplace there is no such thing as grace. We earn what we receive, we work for it. The wage is not a gift.
Romans 4:4-5: When people work, their wages are not a gift. Workers earn what they receive. But people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work. (NLT)
But with the God the economy is altogether different. Spiritually speaking you and I haven’t earned anything but death. What do we deserve, what have we earned? The answer…..Zip!
But…
Ephesians 2:8-9: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. (NIV)
Because of God’s ‘amazing grace’ the free gift of eternal life has been given to us…….wow!
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Important Questions that must be Answered
Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
Why do people keep running over a bit of string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic rubbish bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bed ridden for weeks?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat English/American/Aussie food?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
Why do people keep running over a bit of string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic rubbish bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bed ridden for weeks?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat English/American/Aussie food?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Storms
We’ve had some nasty stormy weather in the last couple of days which reminded me of some thoughts I shared recently at church concerning the wise and foolish builders in Matthew 7:24-29.
Storms know now boundaries and have no favourites. Notice the similarities in what happened to both men.
Storms know now boundaries and have no favourites. Notice the similarities in what happened to both men.
- The rains came
- The streams rose
- The winds blew
Some may look at Jesus’ teachings and go away thinking, "That’s really some tough teaching, but if I work at it really hard and follow all of these principles then life will be one blessing after another - right? I’ll have life figured out and I’ll be able to avoid the heartaches and hardships that so many others seem to experience"….well no not exactly.
The reality is, life is full of storms. And storms are no respecter of persons. At some point…
- The rains will still come
- The streams will still rise
- And the wind will still blow
So often we want to make the trials of life to be one of two signs, either something that proves that we are living for God or something that proves that someone else is not living for God. And many times we miss the whole point.
No matter what kind of life we’re living the storms will still come.
People want to debate the cause of the storm; but all Jesus wants us to see is the kind of foundation on which these two lives are built.
Listen to what Jesus is saying and build your life on Him…the only true foundation.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Monday, August 09, 2004
Dad....can I have.....?
My eldest son's (Daniel) favourite read at the moment is the Argos catalogue (do I get some freebies for that link?). In particular the gadgets page - pocket PC's, palms, i-pods, mp3 players. He keeps showing them to me....'here Dad have a look at this...'. He's got Christmas mapped out already....so he thinks!
Kids are great aren't they. Thinking ahead (4 months in this case) for the next big treat from Dad. Comparing last year's present value to what they hope to receive this year.
I believe God loves to give 'good gifts' to his children....but more than that he loves it when his kids come and ask him for those things. It's the relationship, the interaction that God loves. We should never expect our kids to just sit back and wait and see what happens (although we may say to them 'wait and see what happens' everytime!)
God wants us to come and ask. Read Luke 11:5-13 from the Message....I love it!
Kids are great aren't they. Thinking ahead (4 months in this case) for the next big treat from Dad. Comparing last year's present value to what they hope to receive this year.
I believe God loves to give 'good gifts' to his children....but more than that he loves it when his kids come and ask him for those things. It's the relationship, the interaction that God loves. We should never expect our kids to just sit back and wait and see what happens (although we may say to them 'wait and see what happens' everytime!)
God wants us to come and ask. Read Luke 11:5-13 from the Message....I love it!
Grow
We’ve just had a 2 part series at church entitled ‘Grow’, which has been excellent. Our Pastor (Paul Benger) gave us several keys to growth which were spot on.
Teachability – remain teachable at all times (never think you know it all…you don’t!)
Servanthood – having the kind of servant heart that Jesus had.
Faithfulness – in whatever we do in life loyalty and faithfulness are fundamental to our growth and success.
On this last point he shared something which is so important when it comes to being loyal. Never stand in the neutral zone, nail your colours to the mast and be loyal.
Proverbs 18:24 says ‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’
Sometimes we try and be a friend to everyone, even those who speak badly of those we love. Get out of the neutral zone and be loyal to the ones we love.
Bottom line is...God wants us to grow.
Teachability – remain teachable at all times (never think you know it all…you don’t!)
Servanthood – having the kind of servant heart that Jesus had.
Faithfulness – in whatever we do in life loyalty and faithfulness are fundamental to our growth and success.
On this last point he shared something which is so important when it comes to being loyal. Never stand in the neutral zone, nail your colours to the mast and be loyal.
Proverbs 18:24 says ‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’
Sometimes we try and be a friend to everyone, even those who speak badly of those we love. Get out of the neutral zone and be loyal to the ones we love.
Bottom line is...God wants us to grow.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
Why do people do that?
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is where’s yours?
People who are willing to get off the sofa to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Too right I do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? Legs?
People who are willing to get off the sofa to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Too right I do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? Legs?
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Lovely Day
It's a hot summers day today. Been out for a run and it was hot at 7:30am! I'm definitely a morning man when it comes to running. More energy at that time of the day.
Later we're all going for a picnic to Chatsworth House, Derbyshire. We'll be down by the river playing cricket and paddling in the water. The kids love it!
Later we're all going for a picnic to Chatsworth House, Derbyshire. We'll be down by the river playing cricket and paddling in the water. The kids love it!
Thursday, August 05, 2004
The Holy Grail Script
I love the script for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Here's one of my favourite excerpts (and there's quite a few)....
[Arthur and Servant come hopping across the countryside with the coconuts making the sound effect of horses' hooves.]
Arthur: WHOA THERE!
[More clopping up to the castle.]
Guard 1: HALT! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon from the castle of Camelot, King of the Britons, Defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of All England!
Guard 1: Who is the other one?
Patsy: I am!
Arthur: And this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master!
Guard 1: What? Isn't that a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard 1: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard 1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together!
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, from the Kindom of Mercia...
Guard 1: (interrupting) Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them!
Guard 1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard 1: Well, this is a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the housemartin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in the winter, yet these are not strangers to our land!
Guard 1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?!
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Guard 1: What?! A swallow, carryin' a coconut?!
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard 1: It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut!
Arthur: Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the court of Camelot is here.
Guard 1: Listen, in order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
Arthur: PLEASE!
Guard 1: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Guard 2: It could be carried by an African swallow...
Guard 1: Oh yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
Guard 2: Oh yeah, I agree with that...
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?
Guard 2: ...but then of course, African swallows are non-migratory...
Guard 1: Aah yeah...
[Arthur and Servant come hopping across the countryside with the coconuts making the sound effect of horses' hooves.]
Arthur: WHOA THERE!
[More clopping up to the castle.]
Guard 1: HALT! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon from the castle of Camelot, King of the Britons, Defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of All England!
Guard 1: Who is the other one?
Patsy: I am!
Arthur: And this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master!
Guard 1: What? Isn't that a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard 1: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard 1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together!
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, from the Kindom of Mercia...
Guard 1: (interrupting) Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them!
Guard 1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard 1: Well, this is a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the housemartin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in the winter, yet these are not strangers to our land!
Guard 1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?!
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Guard 1: What?! A swallow, carryin' a coconut?!
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard 1: It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut!
Arthur: Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the court of Camelot is here.
Guard 1: Listen, in order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
Arthur: PLEASE!
Guard 1: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Guard 2: It could be carried by an African swallow...
Guard 1: Oh yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
Guard 2: Oh yeah, I agree with that...
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?
Guard 2: ...but then of course, African swallows are non-migratory...
Guard 1: Aah yeah...
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Anagrams
A bit sad I know but I love playing around with anagrams. This is a great site if you can't be bothered making them up yourself. For myself I like 'Godly Anvil' but certainly not 'Lady Loving'. A good friend of mine comes out as the 'Pub General'. Happy anagramming!
The Fools Award for First Place goes to....
19 year old Ohio student Robert Ricketts had his head bloodied when he was struck by a Conrail train. He told police he was trying to see how close to the moving train he could place his head without getting hit. That’s foolish!
Foolishness well describes the Seattle thief who attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Seattle street. When police arrived at the scene they found the sick thief curled up next to the motor home. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal petrol, but said that he plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake and while attempting to siphon gas got a mouth full of sewage instead.
Then there was Larry. Larry’s boyhood dream was to fly. But fate conspired to keep him from his dream. He joined the Air Force, but his poor eyesight disqualified him from being a pilot. After he was discharged from the military, he sat in his backyard watching jets fly overhead.He hatched his weather balloon scheme while sitting outside in his comfortable lawn chair. He purchased 45 weather balloons from an Army-Navy surplus store, tied them to his tethered lawn chair dubbed the Inspiration I, and filled the 4 foot diameter balloons with helium. Then he strapped himself into his lawn chair with some sandwiches, drinks, and a pellet rifle. He figured he would pop a few of the many balloons when it was time to descend.Larry’s plan was to sever the anchor and lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back yard, where he would enjoy a few hours of flight before coming back down. But things didn’t work out as Larry had planned.When his friends cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his Jeep, he did not float lazily up to 30 feet. Instead, he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon, pulled by the lift of 42 helium balloons holding 33 cubic feet of helium each. He didn’t level off at 100 feet, nor did he level off at 1000 feet. After climbing and climbing, he levelled off at 16,000 feet.At that height he felt he couldn’t risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting cold and frightened with his beer and sandwiches, for more than 14 hours. He crossed the primary approach corridor of LAX, where Trans World Airlines and Delta Airlines pilots radioed in reports of the strange sight.Eventually he gathered the nerve to shoot a few balloons, and slowly descended. The hanging tethers tangled and caught in a power line, blacking out a Long Beach neighbourhood for 20 minutes. Larry climbed to safety, where he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked him why he had done it. Larry replied nonchalantly, "A man can’t just sit around."
But the Psalmist David gives the fools award for first place to the man who says in his heart, "There is no God" (Psalm 53:1) The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
Foolishness well describes the Seattle thief who attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Seattle street. When police arrived at the scene they found the sick thief curled up next to the motor home. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal petrol, but said that he plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake and while attempting to siphon gas got a mouth full of sewage instead.
Then there was Larry. Larry’s boyhood dream was to fly. But fate conspired to keep him from his dream. He joined the Air Force, but his poor eyesight disqualified him from being a pilot. After he was discharged from the military, he sat in his backyard watching jets fly overhead.He hatched his weather balloon scheme while sitting outside in his comfortable lawn chair. He purchased 45 weather balloons from an Army-Navy surplus store, tied them to his tethered lawn chair dubbed the Inspiration I, and filled the 4 foot diameter balloons with helium. Then he strapped himself into his lawn chair with some sandwiches, drinks, and a pellet rifle. He figured he would pop a few of the many balloons when it was time to descend.Larry’s plan was to sever the anchor and lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back yard, where he would enjoy a few hours of flight before coming back down. But things didn’t work out as Larry had planned.When his friends cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his Jeep, he did not float lazily up to 30 feet. Instead, he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon, pulled by the lift of 42 helium balloons holding 33 cubic feet of helium each. He didn’t level off at 100 feet, nor did he level off at 1000 feet. After climbing and climbing, he levelled off at 16,000 feet.At that height he felt he couldn’t risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting cold and frightened with his beer and sandwiches, for more than 14 hours. He crossed the primary approach corridor of LAX, where Trans World Airlines and Delta Airlines pilots radioed in reports of the strange sight.Eventually he gathered the nerve to shoot a few balloons, and slowly descended. The hanging tethers tangled and caught in a power line, blacking out a Long Beach neighbourhood for 20 minutes. Larry climbed to safety, where he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked him why he had done it. Larry replied nonchalantly, "A man can’t just sit around."
But the Psalmist David gives the fools award for first place to the man who says in his heart, "There is no God" (Psalm 53:1) The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
The Pewor of the Hmuan Mnid
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Wedding Anniversary
We've just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. I thought it would be a good thing to say something about my beautiful wife (I can hear her wrenching as I type). Just to say she's a great woman and I love her very much. We've booked a table at the Tanner's Restaurant in Plymouth which we will be visiting whilst on our forthcoming holiday to Devon...we can't wait!
My Blog Begins
My best friend Paul Benger (well apart from my wife) - who's also my Pastor at Chesterfield Christian Life Church has inspired me to 'have a go' as it were. So this is my first entry into the world of blog.
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